I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
