I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
