You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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