So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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