Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
