Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We are all done wearing pants today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
