Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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