No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
