K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
