is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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