He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
