I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize