Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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