and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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