i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
