lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
