I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
