Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
