The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
