At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
