btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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