Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
