you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
