Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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