i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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