I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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