if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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