all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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