Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
