I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
