I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
