DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
