So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
