you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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