No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
