Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
