so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
