After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
