Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize