Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
