foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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