i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize