guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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