is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
