Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
