I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
