Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
