All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
