You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
