god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
