Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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