The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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