My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
