every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
