what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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