I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
